Each Thursday we look at what is going to be coming out in theaters this weekend, show you the trailers for the big releases, predict the box office winner and just generally give you enough of a carrot to pull you through the rest of the work week. Week 4 of the MONTH OF MADNESS brings an intriguing science fiction epic and two really unappealing updates of old TV series (TIME TO SEE LOGAN OR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST AGAIN!).
Having been relieved at the excellence that was Beauty and the Beast, we come to March’s blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah week. I shouldn’t say that, because Life is getting really good reviews and I want to see it even though every review I’ve read of it basically says “it’s Alien but YOU DON’T CARE!!!!”. Your other alternatives is delving into a really, really, really reimagined big screen version of CHiPs that I think is trying to be 21 Jump Street, but that film screened for critics because it was funny. This one did not and I am guessing will not be. The “big” release is Power Rangers, and updated “gritty” version of the idiot TV show that infected the world in the 1990’s. I’m sorry, I’m an 80’s kid, and we had good shows (though they have been ill-treated on-screen). Lionsgate is committing to a SIX film saga for the Power Rangers, but also keep in mind that they thought the Divergent series was the next Hunger Games and the Divergent series tanked so badly that it’ll never be finished. Reviews for the Power Rangers are at 43% on RT at time of writing. It’s going to get some nostalgia business, but with Logan, Kong: Skull Island, and Beauty and the Beast as alternatives, plus Life at 83% competing with it, I don’t think Lionsgate is going to get the kind of return it was delusionally hoping for in its investment.
CHiPs (Michael Pena, Kristen Bell, R, 1hr 41min)
Life (Jake Gylenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, R, 1hr 43m)
Power Rangers (Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Banks, PG-13, 2hr 4m)
HOW DID WE DO LAST WEEK?
KT made one of probably the three easiest picks of the year in proclaiming Beauty and the Beast would obliterate the box office. Opening to $370 million worldwide and breaking Batman vs. Superman’s record for biggest March opening with a domestic haul of $174.9 million, the film looks like a lock for Disney’s first billion dollar vehicle of 2017, and has already passed Logan as 2017’s highest grossing film. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in second place was Kong: Skull Island with $27.9 million.
(2017 Prediction Record: 10-2; Lifetime prediction record 48-7).
WHO WILL WIN THE WEEKEND?
With poor reviews, not even nostalgia of the 1990’s kids is going to be enough to get Power Rangers anywhere near Beauty and the Beast. Life should do well as counter programming, but the Beast reigns supreme again.