King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Charlie Hunan

In Theaters This Week (5/12/2017): King Arthur, Snatched, The Wall

Goldie Hawn, Amy Schumer, Snatched

Each Thursday we look at what is going to be coming out in theaters this weekend, show you the trailers for the big releases, predict the box office winner and just generally give you enough of a carrot to pull you through the rest of the work week.  Three films have the temerity to challenge The Guardians of the Galaxy, but from the reviews, you’re better off with viewing number two of classic rock and space madness.

The Wall, John Cena

I will repeat what I said when I first saw the first look at Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur: Legend of the Sword last year at Comic Con.  WHAT ISSSSSS THIS?  The Ritchiziation of classic British myth did really well with the first Sherlock Holmes film and really not so well with second Sherlock Holmes film, but both of those worked to the extent they did because Robert Downey Jr. is such a fantastic fit with the quirky take on Doyle’s detective.  Arthurian myth from Merlin meeting Uther to Mordred and Arthur’s death WOULD make for a fantastic film franchise if treated the same way The Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones were in terms of writing and casting.  Charlie Hunan was great in Sons of Anarchy and I will not try to take that from him, but there are actors born to do one thing and then they’re done.  He is the poster child for that sort of actor.  His British accent is all over the place (many of them not Britain), and that’s only the beginning of the just bizarre vibe of the film.  Critics seem to agree.  Moving it from March to May isn’t going to keep this from losing a ton of money (unless it is inexplicably loved in China which is the new hope of all film studios).

Also unloved is Amy Schumer’s sophomore comedy film Snatched with Goldie Hawn.  While Trainwreck was up and down (you can read my review here), ultimately Bill Hader and LeBron James saved the day and it was a fun film.  This film apparently needed the bromance that was LeBill (it’s their bromance name).  Trainwreck co-star, John Cena, is getting the only good reviews for new films this week in his war drama with Aaron Taylor-Johnson.  Unfortunately, the film is called The Wall….right after Matt Damon made a laughable action movie by the same name, so confusion alone is going to hurt its box office (I’m not kidding; stuff really does turn on things that stupid).

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (Jude Law, PG-13, 2hr 6m)

Snatched (Amy Schumer, Goldie Hawn, R, 1hr 37m)

The Wall (John Cena, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, R, 2hr 0m)

KT, picked Guardians as we will just go ahead and pick Marvel to win this weekend for the next 10 years and phone in our columns from the Cayman branch of Killing Time.  Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 opened domestically to $143.5 million, squishing The Fate of the Furious which was second at $8.6 million.  It’s good it’s doing so well internationally, because in three weeks its domestic take couldn’t match the pace The Boss Baby set (I thought we’d get through ONE column without that film.

Beauty and the Beast passed Finding Dory to become the #8 release in US history, and the highest grossing PG-rated film in US history.  Domestically, The Fate of the Furious has risen to #164 just behind Sherlock Holmes.

INTERNATIONALLY, where F8 is making 80% of its money, the story is quite different.  F8 will likely pass Beauty and the Beast, but both films are huge success stories, currently sitting at #11 and #12.  F8 definitely  will crack the top 10, and Beauty and the Beast has a chance (this would bump out Frozen and Iron Man 3, the current #9 and #10, respectively).
(2017 Prediction Record: 16-3; Lifetime prediction record 54-8).

Guardians fans: have no fear.  Star Lord and crew probably won’t be challenged until Captain Jack Sparrow returns at the end of the month.  It’ll be interesting to see how it does in its second weekend, but Disney’s second mega-film of the year has nothing to worry about from any contenders this week.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Kurt Russell, Ego, Star Lord, Chris Pratt, Drax, Dave Bautista, Mantis


One thought on “In Theaters This Week (5/12/2017): King Arthur, Snatched, The Wall”

  1. There has never, ever been a proper film treatment of the Arthur legend. It’s kind of bizarre. Why are they trying to put a twist on something that has never had a definitive telling? The thing I loved about Jungle Book and BATB is that they were free from gimmicks. You could love them without knowing a thing about the originals.

    Also, the general public cannot be expected to keep track of two films with the exact same title. The film with the lower profile needs to blink first, and bite the bullet and go with another title. It is inexcusable that, a few years back, people had the movie “Nine” recommended to them, and instead of a sophisticated musical with Daniel Day Lewis, they were confronted by post-apocalyptic rag dolls. It matters not that the rag dolls inhabited a better film. People were very confused. Even similar titles are a minefield.


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