Each Thursday we look at what is going to be coming out in theaters this weekend, show you the trailers for the big releases, predict the box office winner and just generally give you enough of a carrot to pull you through the rest of the work week. After basically not even trying for a month, the first “blockbuster” film of the fall hits this weekend along with some serious 180 degree counterprogramming from Reese Witherspoon.
OOOOOkay, so let’s talk about Home Again first. The mid-life crisis/romantic comedy from Reese Witherspoon is getting largely panned by critics but it is DEFINITELY serious counter-programming to the weekend’s big release, which we are going to now briefly discuss for the first time on the site and there’s a reason for that.
I hate clowns. Maybe you’re out there, you do the…clown thing for kids, maybe you think you’re doing good (and a lot of kids love clowns…unnatural ankle biters). However, if you look over, you’ll see a group of kids in the corner with sharp objects and I would be one of those kids. I will not so much watch the trailer for It, the critically acclaimed adaptation of Stephen King’s novel about an actual clown. By that I don’t so much mean a real-life clown, but a clown showing its true demonic, child eating, unnatural nature. So I hate clowns. So I am super stoked that It will end up being the #1 film in the country and unavoidable for at least a week. It’s currently at 89% at Rotten Tomatoes at time of writing.
Home Again (Reese Witherspoon, PG-13, 2hr 0min)
It (Bill Skarsgard, R, 2hr 15min)
How Did We Do Last Week?
KT picked The Hitman’s Bodyguard to become the least impressive three-time box office champion ever, and it did not disappoint (or did depending on how you want to look at it). The Labor Day box office weekend was so low you have to go back to the 1990s to find a comparably anemic take. The Hitman’s Bodyguard pulled in $10.6 million and Annabelle: Creation also still hung around in second with $7.6 million.
(2017 Prediction Record: 32-4; Lifetime prediction record 70-9).
WHO WILL WIN THE WEEKEND?
Between a huge lull in the box office and the power of bored horror fans, It should open very big for a September release. Hurricane Irma may depress its box office somewhat, but not enough to keep it from blowing The Hitman’s Bodyguard away.
In the words of the great Jack Handey: “To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.”
If you hate clowns, stay far away from the Cirque de Soleil, because those French Canadian clowns make Pennywise look like… like…
No, it’s no good. I can’t think of a non-disturbing clown.
Right now I’m debating whether to go see IT. I hate horror movies, I really really hate them, but I loved the genre as a kid, and IT was an important book to me, back when I read it at an age that was way too young. It’s not just a horror story, it’s a weighty sci-fi fantasy yarn about darkness and light and the great eternal struggle, and while I’m sure that won’t exactly come across in this first part, it will, to some degree, when they make the second.
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You would have to sedate me
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Dave, to me clowns are disturbing and eerily unfunny, but I think that you might actually have coulaphobia, fear of clowns. No joke. People don’t get that IT isn’t really about the clown, that the clown is actually a small part of the novel, one manifestation of the entity. But I think King invented coulaphobia, along with Tim Curry in the miniseries.
Stay far, far away from this one.
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Oh I am not going near this. Writing this column wigged me out.
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I think we are twins separated at birth … when you write this … it is me too … I hate horror movies, I really really hate them, but I loved the genre as a kid, and IT was an important book to me, back when I read it at an age that was way too young. Something sickeningly nostalgic makes me feel compelled to go. We even got advance tickets, reserved seating.
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I have brought family together through my absolutely real petrifying fear of clowns! There’s a medal for this, there must be. Someone nominate me for a meaningless WP Blog Award immediately!
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I nominate you for the Dave the Locator Award. Troy’s got nothing on you 🙂
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I am clearing my mantle.
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🏆 here you go. I hope you’ve cleared enough room 😉
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It takes so little to make my day. Well done!
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Cool! Since we are of like mind, would you mind doing me a favor? Could you report back to this page after you have seen the movie, and tell me what your impression was? My decision about whether to see the film is going to hinge on this.
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Definitely!
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Hi honey I’m home (said in my Jack Nicholson voice from the Shining). Oh wait! Wrong SK movie. IT was very good. This new version is only chapter 1 and sticks very close to the book. The set up for the next chapter is spot on. An hour 1/2 long but not drawn out, the movie flowed well. Perfect casting. Scare factor, well that depends on who you ask. I jumped a time or two and covered my eyes. But I also laughed. Beep beep Richie. My daughter in law and husband were not scared at all. Both said “How can a dancing clown be scary?” My son and I felt the same way; we appreciated the story staying true to the book. A very good adaption overall.
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OK! I think this is a lock for next weekend!
Thank you so very much for reporting back.
They say this movie is going to do stupendous business this weekend, and I offer the following humble prediction, provided the movie keeps doing really, really well: trilogy.
They are going to stretch out part 2 into 2 separate films.
You heard it here first.
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The sequel has already been greenlit. It has already broken the record for largest September opening. You wanna review it cuz you know it ain’t gettin’ reviewed any other way here lol?
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I had heard the sequel had been greenlit, but I never underestimate the venality of the Hollywood People. I really would not be surprised if they decided to milk this.
If I like the movie, I shall review it. As you know from my old blog, I’m only comfortable reviewing films I think have merit.
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Lol yeah but I also got you to review a Transformers movie so never hurts to ask. I would be honored to have an RC review….though it does mean I’ll have to look at more clown pictures…..xaaaaanaaaaax
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I bet you’re on to something. 😊
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I am compelled to go.
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If you don’t report back, I will assume you were clown-eaten.
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lol
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I reported back, see above 🙂
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Well done clown correspondent. I will resume pretending they don’t exist now. Lalala
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Lol! They are creepy that’s for sure
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I am sure they would be….if they existed.
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