Renaissance News Report

Don’t take naps at lunch. Little pointer from me to you. And I don’t say that just because I woke up with half of my keyboard imprinted on my face. Today is apparently “fire people of worth” day at my office, so I’m hunkered down in my office avoiding flying rumors and the general cloud of fear. To the news:

* Today, on the 65th anniversary of the attack, is the last official gathering of the dwindling survivors of the Pearl Harbor attack. Every generation seems to have a day that smacked them upside the head and serves as a linchpin for everyone alive during that time. Ours is obviously 9/11, but 12/7 was certainly it for my grandparents.

* The Seminole Indian Tribe bought the Hard Rock casino, restaurant, and memorabilia business.

* The Senate confirmed Robert Gates as the new Secretary of Defense.

* Greece has banned cell phones from all its schools. We’d never do it here, but I actually think that’s a pretty darn good idea.

* Barry Bonds is now apparently talking to the St. Louis Cardinals about a deal. Dangit, how many steroid-bloated sluggers do the Cardinals need in their history?

* Grammy nominations are out and Mary J. Blige leads the field with 8 nods. James Blunt, the Dixie Chicks, and John Mayer all got five. The big deal seems to be that Bob Dylan, who was supposed to get showered with nominations, only got three. That should piss my fiancee off. She would leave me for Dylan in a heartbeat (I’ve made my peace with it). Grammys get handed out in LA on February 11th.

* So Scary Spice (Melanie Brown) says Eddie Murphy is the father of her unborn child. Eddie says he’s not sure….good Spice Girl news, just when I thought we were free. Bravo, Eddie, Bra-frickin-vo.

* JJ Abrahms (Lost, Alias, MI:III) is officially the director of the next Star Trek film. The film, which reportedly will feature a young Kirk and Spock, is slated for a 2009 release.

* Lost will return February 7th, but it’s getting out of the way of American Idol. The drama will be moving from 9pm to 10pm on Wednesday nights, to try to avoid the ratings hit it took from Idol last year.

Gettin’ Christmassy

I grew up in an artificial tree household. Every year my dad would drag the box out of storage and assemble the tree, and we’d all learn a few new words we could try out at school as he tried to make it all fit together. Last year was the first year that I had a live Christmas tree. I have to say, there’s no comparison. You gotta go live. The whole ritual of going and picking out the perfect tree, kicks of the Christmas season. My clan went to Home Depot last night and got a 7 foot Douglas fir, strapped it to my car, and it is now awaiting decorations in my living room.

This, by the way, was a much better purchase than the one my fiancee made at Rite Aid earlier in the day. She bought this 3 foot tall stuffed bear in a soldier suit that sings “The Little Drummer Boy” every time someone passes it. It’s motion-sensitive. It’s very VERY motion sensitive. So I’d be sleeping (which I occasionally do) and every time one of the dogs would wander past it…COME THEY TOLD ME PA RUM PA PUM PUM…..I’d fall back asleep and 10 minutes later….A NEWBORN KING TO SEE PA RUM PA PUM PUM….I’d fall back asleep now dreaming of stuffed bear decapitation and 10 minutes later….OUR FINEST GIFTS TO BRING PA RUM PA PUM PUM….you get it. All night long. So I’m a bit blearly eyed today. I’m sure I’ll be cynical and motivated later and write the RN, but right now I’m trying to scrub that song out of my head.

Renaissance News Report

After lunch, things are usually pretty dead around SCC until there is an inevitable crisis at 4pm. So, seeing as how I have 2.5 hours to kill until someone throws me a migraine, let’s look at the news:

* Taco Bell is removing all green onions from their restaurants until they can determine that they’re safe. This is after an E-coli scare. I’ve always blamed scallions for many of the worlds ills, and have long been suspicious of their ambition for power.

* An independent panel headed up by former Secretary of State James Baker recommended the US pull out of Iraq by 2008, calling the system “grave and deteriorating”. President Bush has promised to take the report seriously, and as he will be pulling out of the White House in 2008 that should give him all kinds of free time to meet with widows and orphans….not that I’m sour on the President or anything.

* The Vatican thinks they found St. Paul’s tomb. I don’t have anything witty to say about this, but woo hoo, holy bones, cool beans.

* The Boston Red Sox signed Dodgers outfielder JD Drew for 5 years $70 million…this pleases me because I think it’s a moronic deal and I’m a Yankees fan.

* Barry Bonds is wandering around the winter baseball meetings in Florida looking for a team stupid enough to pay a tremendous amount of money for someone who, more than likely, will be banned for life. I’m pulling for the Red Sox.

* Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn apparently broke up…but since they never admitted they were together…how can you break up? Never mind I’ve had that relationship too.

* The National Board of Review picked Clint Eastwood’s Letters From Iwo Jima as the best film of 2006. It’s a companion piece to Flags of Our Fathers that was released earlier this year to disappointing box office numbers.

* Andy Dick apologized for dropping the N bomb at a LA comedy club. What is it with spindly white comics going insane onstage lately?

* ABC has put The Nine on hiatus, which sucks, because as much as I love Heroes and Studio 60, The Nine’s the best new show of the year.

* Rumor is that we’ll get a look at a young Jack Sparrow in Pirates 3.

* George Clooney has optioned the movie rights to John Grisham’s new non-fiction book An Innocent Man.

* David Letterman renewed his contract with CBS, so we’ll be having Dave on The Late Show through 2010.

* 5 million of you bought the Pirates 2 DVD yesterday. Why would you do that? I’m friggin’ disappointed in all of you.

That’s all the interesting nuggets I can find. I’m going to go see if I can find an office with holiday candy.

The Terminator

So I’m the Assistant Registrar at Summit Career College. Basically, what that means is that I babysit about 1100 nursing students that weren’t bright enough to get into community college through their various life crises. Here’s an example: “I’m pregnant, homeless, my boyfriend is abusing me/drugs or me AND drugs, plus my car exploded so I’m pretty sure I can’t make it to class.” It’s fun. So every day there are anywhere from 2-10 of the little darlings that I have to terminate. “Terminate” means “expel” but SCC policy somehow thinks that a verb from a Schwarzenegger movie is more comforting. I have 8 people to terminate right now, so I’m going to go ahead and do that, knowing full well that they’ll wander in some time in the next week puzzled as hell as to why they’re not students here anymore.

Caving In

Fine. Alright. Here. I have had no less than a dozen people harrass me about starting a blog (usually MySpace) and I’m ashamedly caving in to peer pressure. I can’t stand MySpace, though, so this is what I’m using. All problems with that decision may be directed to the Department of No One Fricking Cares.

I’m still figuring out how to use this thing, and for once I have actual work to do, so I’m not sure when or how this thing will come together, but this is my attempt at blogging. I just blogged…..y’know I still think that word sounds illicit. Blog you all you blogging blogheads…..Lord, I need more coffee.

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