Tag Archives: Ocean’s 13

Brad Pitt’s Latest 10 Movies vs. Greatest 10 Movies

Brad Pitt
Latest vs. Greatest looks at directors, actors, actresses, screenwriters and composers to assess the state of their career as it stands.  We’ll look back at the latest 10 movies the artist has done, rate them and then average them out to see where they stand today.  We’ll also rank their 10 greatest movies and give them the same treatment to compare what they have been doing to their very best work.  (A quick side-note: if an artist is/has been a regular on a TV show we’ll also grade the seasons individually; artists need 10 projects to qualify).

There was a time when it was kind of easy to dismiss Brad Pitt‘s acting talent because he was so sickeningly good looking.  I mean, COME ON!  There’s like the looks of seventy slightly above-average looking guys under this cowboy hat.
Men can’t measure up to this!  This is ….probably how women feel when they see actresses in size 1/2 dresses, but we’re guys and it takes a lot to make us hate a guy for being good looking.Legends of the Fall, Brad Pitt
Ugh.  That’s freakish.  He’s even aging well.  Damn him.  At any rate, he didn’t help himself by taking mostly parts where he was the pretty boy.  His first big blip was in Thelma & Louise as an extremely douchey pretty boy, but then he had and go and look good in really good movies and then you began to realize that he had talent too.  At this point most of males just gave up and decided to hate him (Fight Club fixed most of that) or accept him as our genetic superior.

Pitt’s first great movie, in my opinion, is one that a lot of people have mixed feelings on: Legends of the Fall.  It is, unrelentingly depressing, but I thought it was great and that Pitt gave his first really great performance in it.  He does haunted and broody very well, Pitt.  I’ll also give him this: the man has exceptional angry eyes.  Even take a movie like Moneyball where he appears almost looking like a real human being without an ethereal Olympic glow about him, when he walks into the locker room after a loss and sees his players laughing and gives them the awesome “This Is What Losing Sounds Like” speech, you could melt steel with those peepers.  He’s worked at his craft much like fellow absurdly handsome pretty boy Clooney has.  He’s not become the movie making phenom Clooney has, but at this point I don’t think anyone can deny that he’s among the most talented actors in Hollywood.

Pitt followed Legends of the Fall with Terry Gilliam‘s awesome 12 Monkeys (for which he received his first Oscar nomination) and  David Fincher’s chilling Se7en Then in 1999, he made the movie that adapted a book that took an entire generation of disaffected cubicle workers and made them start beating the stuffing out one another: Fight Club.Tyler Durden, Fight Club, Brad Pitt
Is Fight Club the amazing movie most men my age (thirty-murfle) think it is?  Pretty much.  It is if you are the target audience.  I can see some people thinking the movie is nihilistic, but if you’ve read Chuck Palahniuk’s fantastic novel and you’re a guy who has spent his whole life in jobs where they have a dress code or wandering blankly through an IKEA, you GOT this.  There is something primal in men that just wants to blow up the outside world and beat each other silly.  It’s why women should run things lol.  Fight Club is a very difficult adaptation and Fincher, Pitt and Edward Norton just nailed it.

Pitt made a bunch of average films after Fight Club (though I have a soft spot for Spy Game with Robert Redford) until he hooked up with Damon and Clooney for Ocean’s 11 and the modern Hollywood Rat Pack was born.  I love Ocean’s 11.  For sheer fun: Ocean’s 11 is about as good as it comes.  Ocean’s 12 is a step down, but Ocean’s 13-to me-really got back to what made the first one so much fun.  Plus, the collaborations born out of the friendships made between Damon, Clooney and Pitt from that movie are still bearing fruit today.

Pitt’s version of Troy gets a lot of crap, but I actually like the film.  I will say, though, that if you saw it in the theater, you may have been distracted by the cut and by the worst score ever attached to a major Hollywood film.  It was so bad they re-scored it for video release and I think Pitt’s Achilles was pretty awesome.

Pitt now is at the point where he can pretty much do whatever he wants whenever he wants.  He made noise about retiring from acting at 50, but he’s 50 now and he had three movies come out this year.  I would hope he keeps going because he’s getting better and better.  He’s been nominated for an Oscar for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which I think is a good-not great-film.  What he should have won an Oscar for is the performance of his career: Aldo Raines in Inglorious Basterds.
Aldo Raines, Inglorious Basterds, Brad Pitt

Inglorious Basterds made me like Quentin Tarrantino and I’d pretty steadfastly hated him his whole career.  Pitt is so good as the leader of a squad of Nazi killing psychopaths; so hysterically funny in his delivery and carriage, that the fact that he wasn’t even nominated for the film (which DID get recognized) baffles me.  It also shows a side of Pitt you don’t get to see very much: he’s a fantastic comedic actor.  You get some of it in the Ocean’s movies, but if you want to see Pitt as you have never seen him before, rent the Coen Brothers Burn After Reading.  Pitt is…undescribable.  He makes the worst/funniest ransom call in Hollywood history to John Malkovich.

In the last year, Pitt has had four films come out, and-unfortunately-I think they’re going to tank his score because Killing Them Softly, The Tree of Life (I don’t care what people say; the movie is a LSD trip and not a good one) and The Counselor have all been truly awful movies.  He’s been GOOD in all of them.  He’s the only thing that kept The Counselor from getting a 0.00.  However, that’s how the ratings work, so let’s go back and look and his last ten films.

1. 12 Years as a Slave (2013)……………….8.00
2. The Counselor (2013)…………………….1.75
3. World War Z (2013)……………………….5.50
4. Killing Them Softly (2012)………………2.00
5. Happy Feet Two (2011)…………………..5.00
6. Moneyball (2011)…………………………..9.50
7. The Tree of Life (2011)……………………0.50
8. Megamind (2010)…………………………..6.00
9. Inglorious Basterds (2009)…………….10.00
10. Curious Case of B. Button (2008)…….7.75

Moneyball, Billy Beane, Jonah Hill, Brad Pitt, baseball
Ok….so that is BY FAR the lowest of any actor we’ve examined.  Will Smith is off the hook.  To be honest, though, it’s not really a fair reflection of Pitt’s talent or abilities.  He did two movies for his seventeen kids, obviously, that were not that great.  He worked with Ridley Scott, Terrence Malick and David Cronnenberg and was NOT the problem in possibly the worst movies any of them have ever made.  If anything, he added points to all those films.  I think he should have two Best Actor Oscars for Moneyball and Inglorious Basterds in this time period, so while his current score is not good (and I have yet to even do the math) it is going to be a mile below his career best average.  Let’s run that up and look at his ten best films.

1. Inglorious Basterds (2009)………10.00
2. Fight Club (1999)……………………..9.75
3. Legends of the Fall (1994)………….9.50
4. Moneyball (2011)…………………….9.50
5. Ocean’s 11 (2001)……………………..9.50
6. 12 Monkeys (1995) …………………..9.25
7. Se7en (1995) ……………………………8.75
8. 12 Years as a Slave (2013)…………..8.00
9. Ocean’s 13 (2007)……………………..8.00
10. A River Runs Through It (1992)…7.75

OK!  That’s a little more like it.  This is reflective of the work Pitt CAN do in the right film.  He’ll make horrid films better, but he’s picked SUCH horrible films that you can only do so much.  He’ll need to go on a tear in the next few years to get his current score up, but the career score shows the true talent.

In 2014, Pitt is attached to two films.  David Ayer’s World War II drama, Fury, and a Terrence Malick documentary about the birth and death of the universe called Voyage of Time.  I don’t count narration, so Malick can’t kill his score any more than he already has.  I hope he keeps taking challenging roles and evolving as an actor and has better luck with his choice of projects.
Brad Pitt

Movie Review: Fast and Furious 6 (2013)

Fast 6, The Fast and the Furious 6, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez

This is how I ended up at FF6 last night.  My wife badly wanted to go to the movies and, for reasons we need not dwell on, that’s currently our only form of date night entertainment.  So we’ve seen….pretty much everything.  Looking at the schedule, we faced a fork in the road between Fast and Furious 6 and The Hangover III and F6 offered a 100% better chance that we wouldn’t have to see Ken Jeong’s penis.  That’s what it came down to along with a series of coin flips.  I have only seen the first Fast and Furious movie and as I related in posting the trailer for this film, the after experience was more interesting than the film itself.

I only saw that first film because I was with a group of car-obsessed friends.  I thought it was crap.  Haaaated it.  However, my opinion  was not the majority of the amped car-humping motor fiends in the audience.  Once the credits rolled, people came busting out of that theater, crammed in their cars, and then all hell broke loose.

I don’t know what kind of car you were driving when this came out.  I was in early undergrad as were my friends so none of us were coasting around in anything impressive (though that didn’t stop them from grafting spoilers and exhaust pipes the size of mortars onto their sensible family sedans).  This herd of Ford Taurus, Chevy Malibus, etc. that had no business doing anything but the speed limit, exploded from their parking spaces like racing horses on meth.  There was screaming metal, burning rubber, smoke billowing across the theater lot, testosterone pumping at such a high level that the light posts were growing hair, coordinated donuts were spiraling Diesel-esque wannabes hither, thither and yon.  I was driving a 1994 Saturn, in which, I sat for a good hour until the cars had overturned themselves, spiraled onto the freeway or embedded themselves in the adjacent Wal-Mart.  Terrifying as it was, it made a rather fascinating sociology study of what our future looks like should Mad Max turn out to be prophecy.

SO,  having parked around back this time, we made our way inside and if this hasn’t come out clearly:  I’m not a car guy.  I love car chases when done well in films (Bournes 1-3, Ronin, Bullit, etc.) but my knowledge of and appreciation for cars extends to my desire to have them transport me to the destination  I intended to go.  That being said, I bet I’m the only one of you grease monkeys who’s taken one through a house so suck on that in the parking lot post-film (btw that is expensive The Day I Drove My Car Through My House).  However, even if I were a car guy, I don’t thing it would have been possible for me to forgive the idiocy that is FF6.

To be fair, I am clearly not the target audience of this movie, but in an ensemble in where The Rock looked like Al Pacino, I just prayed for something to explode or for them to drive after something else in a speedy and angry manner (side note: I’m not sure HOW angrier and faster than this they can get for the already-in-pre-production FF7, but I’m almost curious enough to endure it) because when things slowed down…people began to talk.  The talking hurt my ears.  The script seemed to have been carefully limited to sentences of no more than 3-5 words that had to have been randomly generated from some kind of action movie mad libs database.
I honestly just don’t want to try to summarize the plot…oh fine.  It’s Ocean’s 13….but dumb.  Gang gets back together, gang is working for the law, gang is not particularly pleased about it.  Not furious.  But damn close.  Our crack team is chasing an item that goes out of its way not to just call itself “a really effective EMP”.  Chases and ‘splosions abound, culminating in a chase with a tank that climaxes with the most hysterically physics-ignorant stunt I think I’ve ever seen.  Also Vin Diesel must be a robot, because otherwise his character would have been human goo.  I CANNOT SHUT MY MIND OFF THAT FAR!
I do have to admit that the finale with the C-130 is just freaking awesome.  No glibness or irony, it is one of the most impressive action set pieces I have seen in years.  By the way, Vin Diesel driving a flaming car out of said crashing flaming C-130, rolling his car at a high speed and then walking through the flames unscathed was more plausible than the tank climax.  Vin Diesel’s chiseled out of admantium.
In rating this, I have a situation here similar to the other Rock movie I’ve seen in the theater this year (GI JOE 2).  There are 15 minutes of sheer amazing, I-have-never-seen-that awesomeness, surrounded in a sea of stultifying mediocrity.  All the points, ALL of them, are for that and the post-credits scene which, depressingly, was better than Iron Man 3’s.  This year in film needs a big win.  C’mon, Superman

PS – I was heavily amused to see that there was a disclaimer immediately after the movie pleading with testosterone-pumping drivers not to do anything that they saw and assuring them that nothing they were driving contained NOS.  This leads me to believe my FF1 experience was not an isolated incident.