So I’m the Assistant Registrar at Summit Career College. Basically, what that means is that I babysit about 1100 nursing students that weren’t bright enough to get into community college through their various life crises. Here’s an example: “I’m pregnant, homeless, my boyfriend is abusing me/drugs or me AND drugs, plus my car exploded so I’m pretty sure I can’t make it to class.” It’s fun. So every day there are anywhere from 2-10 of the little darlings that I have to terminate. “Terminate” means “expel” but SCC policy somehow thinks that a verb from a Schwarzenegger movie is more comforting. I have 8 people to terminate right now, so I’m going to go ahead and do that, knowing full well that they’ll wander in some time in the next week puzzled as hell as to why they’re not students here anymore.

Fine. Alright. Here. I have had no less than a dozen people harrass me about starting a blog (usually MySpace) and I’m ashamedly caving in to peer pressure. I can’t stand MySpace, though, so this is what I’m using. All problems with that decision may be directed to the Department of No One Fricking Cares.

I’m still figuring out how to use this thing, and for once I have actual work to do, so I’m not sure when or how this thing will come together, but this is my attempt at blogging. I just blogged…..y’know I still think that word sounds illicit. Blog you all you blogging blogheads…..Lord, I need more coffee.

Okay, so I used to publish a newsletter called The Renaissance News, the basic purpose of which was to share what I thought was interesting with my friends and to rant about that which I found stupid or awesome. The newsletter kind of got out of hand via email. I think at one point it was clogging the entire Wells Fargo email network (not MY fault) and got me investigated by OSHA for employing mythological creatures as typesetters (I maintain my innocence). So it occurs to me that I usually, about this time every day, peruse the newspapers and websites and I could use this forum to spew forth my thoughts on current events. So let’s see….

* New Secretary of Defense Robert Gates says we’re not winning the war in Iraq….and here I thought things had been going so darn well…

* There’s been a military coup in Fiji. I seriously have a good friend with ties there. I blame you, JB.

* New York has become the first state to outlaw trans-fat. How exactly is that going to work? Are there going to be National Guardsman stationed at the Lincoln Tunnel searching Doritos trucks?

* Should Mark McGwire get into the Hall of Fame even though we’re 90% sure that he was pumped up like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Ballon o’ Steroids? It’s that darn 10% where we don’t have concrete proof that says to me, yeah, let him in, his numbers were awesome. If you find the smoking gun on any of these druggies later, expel them.

* That village in Romania that’s suing Sascha Cohen over Borat has been asked to refile their lawsuit with “some specific allegations”. Apparently “making us look like Khazakstanian douchebags instead of Romanian douchebags” wasn’t specific enough. Anyone in that movie signed a release and is guilty of pretty much just being dumb in front of a camera.

* Pirates of the Caribbean 2 comes out on DVD today, which just reminds me of how much I hated it and how puzzled I am as to why it did so well. Oh, if you’re looking for the best review of Pirates 2 of all-time, and a bunch of other hilarity, head to http://www.askaninja.com.

* Cate Blanchett agreed to be in a sequel to Elizabeth….I dunno why.

* If you want an early look at Die Hard 4, the trailer’s going to be attached to Blood Diamond this weekend.