Renaissance News Report

After lunch, things are usually pretty dead around SCC until there is an inevitable crisis at 4pm. So, seeing as how I have 2.5 hours to kill until someone throws me a migraine, let’s look at the news:

* Taco Bell is removing all green onions from their restaurants until they can determine that they’re safe. This is after an E-coli scare. I’ve always blamed scallions for many of the worlds ills, and have long been suspicious of their ambition for power.

* An independent panel headed up by former Secretary of State James Baker recommended the US pull out of Iraq by 2008, calling the system “grave and deteriorating”. President Bush has promised to take the report seriously, and as he will be pulling out of the White House in 2008 that should give him all kinds of free time to meet with widows and orphans….not that I’m sour on the President or anything.

* The Vatican thinks they found St. Paul’s tomb. I don’t have anything witty to say about this, but woo hoo, holy bones, cool beans.

* The Boston Red Sox signed Dodgers outfielder JD Drew for 5 years $70 million…this pleases me because I think it’s a moronic deal and I’m a Yankees fan.

* Barry Bonds is wandering around the winter baseball meetings in Florida looking for a team stupid enough to pay a tremendous amount of money for someone who, more than likely, will be banned for life. I’m pulling for the Red Sox.

* Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn apparently broke up…but since they never admitted they were together…how can you break up? Never mind I’ve had that relationship too.

* The National Board of Review picked Clint Eastwood’s Letters From Iwo Jima as the best film of 2006. It’s a companion piece to Flags of Our Fathers that was released earlier this year to disappointing box office numbers.

* Andy Dick apologized for dropping the N bomb at a LA comedy club. What is it with spindly white comics going insane onstage lately?

* ABC has put The Nine on hiatus, which sucks, because as much as I love Heroes and Studio 60, The Nine’s the best new show of the year.

* Rumor is that we’ll get a look at a young Jack Sparrow in Pirates 3.

* George Clooney has optioned the movie rights to John Grisham’s new non-fiction book An Innocent Man.

* David Letterman renewed his contract with CBS, so we’ll be having Dave on The Late Show through 2010.

* 5 million of you bought the Pirates 2 DVD yesterday. Why would you do that? I’m friggin’ disappointed in all of you.

That’s all the interesting nuggets I can find. I’m going to go see if I can find an office with holiday candy.

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