Howdy! I’m basically a pretty laid-back guy. I’m basing that on other people’s assessments of me and if I fooled them, I think I get to say that I’m a pretty laid-back guy. If you have a disagreement with me or something I write, let’s talk. Let’s dialogue. My best blogging friend thinks the Star Wars prequels are biblical apocrypha, so clearly I can entertain divergent opinions without turning into a giant rage monster. What I’m not a huge fan of, is giant corporate lawyer cesspools (quite literally CS Lewis‘ vision of Hell in The Screwtape Letters) spitting cease and desist orders at me. You know what makes me even less pleased? When said cease-and-desist orders are written with all the coherency of Mumbai spam.
So earlier this week, which has not been a stellar period of time, I’m checking my email, and I see that FOX has slapped me with a cease and desist order for a photo relating to The Wolverine. Without quoting the thing, I was to immediately take down the offending image/picture/promotional item Wolverine,The1394BQ405. This is how it was identified. Fortunately, Word Press seemed to know which one they were talking about because if it had been up to me to locate it, Fox would still be mad (though in all fairness, I’m not trying to soothe them with this post).
I’ve gotten one of these before from Summit Entertainment over Ender’s Game and to sate them, I developed a special Ender’s Game disclaimer that is so ridiculously over-the-top in its lack of legal claim, that it seems to have satisfied the buggers. This one, I mentioned in my contrite, yet pissy (yes I can manage that tone) letter to WordPress, pointed out that it might be more effective to come to an understanding with someone over something you feel they posted out of turn if you take the time to point out what it is they posted that has upset you using a system more coherent than the Dewey Decimal method.
But I was also curious….The Wolverine is out on Blu Ray in a few weeks. It’s out of the theaters. What would put their knickers in such a twist that they’d go all legal on my tiny fiefdom? After nearly a week of researching, I found out and it makes me very interested about X-Men Days of Future Past. The post that they demanded I take down was a shot that had leaked from the set of The Wolverine that showed a classic Wolverine costume custom-made for Hugh Jackman. Originally, there was going to be a brief segment of the film where he wore it, but it didn’t work out…but what if the costume wasn’t for The Wolverine? What if it was for, since post-production on The Wolverine overlapped with pre-production on X-Men Days of Future Past, the next X-Men movie. To be clear, let’s show what costume we’re talking about here in terms that hopefully will not anger FOX and its lawyer drones. We’re talking about a grown-up, sculpted version of this Wolverine costume:
So are we going to get the classic yellow and blue at some point? Is that why you’re being such ….sticklers, FOX? I’m curious now. It was just a throwaway curiosity piece before, but now the KT staff and adorable Wolverine child are on this Woodward & Bernstein style. Don’t let his beguiling innocence fool you. That child will SNIKT you in a heartbeat. That cloying smile, mid-giggle? That’s because he’s watching another adorable kid in a Deadpool costume eat someone’s face. And the question you have to ask yourself is…how many of these Weapon X children with their homicidal tendencies and so-cute-you-could-gobble-it-up costumes do we have in cloning tanks here at the KT offices? Sleep well, FOX lawyers.